


My Name Is

by twistedMagic



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Other, When I have a lot of free time I create characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 19:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5428118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twistedMagic/pseuds/twistedMagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I changed the narrating point of view in this one.</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Oh dear, have you heard? Some bullies attacked Shizuo again" Our mother said to our father as she served dinner to each of us. My oldest brother had no comment about it but nodded ocasionally. Kasuka as expected remainded in silence and moved away the beans from the meat. Shizuo is fifteen years old, Kasuka is thirteen and I am six. There is a huge age gap between my oldest brother and me, nine years. But I didn't mind it and honestly Shizuo nor Kasuka didn't care at all. Our parents kept speaking about the ignorant bullies and Shizuo excused himself, grabbing the plate and going upstairs to his room.

 

"Mother, father, if you are aware that big brother will get angry in silence, why do you keep bringing the subject?" Kasuka inquired glancing up at our parents. Our mother sighed.

 

"I read in few magazines and watched on television that talking about the topic could get frustrations out and make him feel better... I am sorry dear, you are right" She sighed as she took seat. The raven-haired didn't comment on anything and cut the meat.

 

"Ren, you could smile a bit more often. You are half the age of Kasuka and yet you are expresionless as him" Our father joked.

 

   As a kid, my parents always compared me to Kasuka. I didn't mind at all, I don't being compared. I am the youngest, I have no surprises. Shizuo is strong and has anger issues, he despises violence but yet he is not able to connect his brain to his abnormal strengh. Kasuka is trying not to follow the example of violence Shizuo gives by accident by being expresionless and supressing every emotion away. I am just a kid that tried too hard to catch my parents attentions but in mere vain. My brothers had a potential and a spark that I did not have nor developed. Shizuo is infamous, Kasuka will most likely be famous. He already took part in a commercial about clothing. I have nothing.

   

   But as a kid I also developed some twisted and probably sick interest by my parents fault without them being aware,

 

"I heard it's that Orihara Izaya kid fault" Our father commented sighing heavily, he ran his fingers towards his black-grey-ish hair. 

 

  Orihara. _Orihara. **Orihara**._

 

  That's the only thing I have ever heard as a kid. My parents being worried about Shizuo. Kasuka was mainly absent due commercials and modeling. I was mainly ignored by my own family. I felt that way but one day I asked my mother. She thought I wanted to be independent. I was genuinely surprised and dissapointed. I am a dependant type of person but regardless what I thought, I never spoke up or argumented that my feelings were misunderstood all along.

 

  People, people are truly a mistery, aren't they? None of the stories we tell will be exactly the same as the other's. A group could have watched the exact same accident. Say twenty people watch the same incident. And if you ask each person, you will get twenty different stories. One with more details, one with less details. 

 

  As I previously said, due my parents I developed an anormal obsession. I became obsessed with the Orihara family. Once I asked for advice to my older brother Kasuka. 'Stalker' he said I was that. I looked up the meanings. Kasuka, as expected, was not wrong.

 

" _Stalker_ " redirects here. For other uses, see Stalker (disambiguation).

 

 

 

 

 

For harassment-related policies on Wikipedia, see Wikipedia:Harassment.

**Stalking**  is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them"

 

  But I did not harass in any way the Orihara family and I did not monitor them, I haven't even spoke to said family. But I did take pictures of them and saved them in the diaries I kept with different colors for each Orihara: Izaya's one was black, Mairu's one was orange and Kururi's one was dark green. I actually had several diaries but respected the colors. Each time I filled one with my handwritting about their everyday, I would buy another one and fill it. I repeated the progress almost every month.

 

  This behiavor went from bad to worse once I entered Raira Academy because I searched via phone where would the twins go to. I recall that phone being shortly hacked and a certain 'Kanra' asking who I was.Perhaps, it is overlooked the fact that I threw that phone away. I never saved any data about my private life. Not in internet or phones, but the phones I owned were mainly stolen during street fighs. I would see my chance and steal them. I had around ten different cellphones and none of them had any number or anything once they became mine because I deleted their ID and data. I treated each phone as something I could use to search for information and nothing else. I would use public phones to make calls to my brothers or parents. One time, Kasuka came to visit me to our parents house when I still lived with them. I was fourteen and he was twenty one already. He dropped by to give me two notebooks. He admitted that originally he came to Ikebukuro to give to my oldest brother bartender uniforms since that was his new job. I didn't mind his confession, I knew that I came late to the brotherly love bonding. I was thankful, though.

 

 That's basically me, Heiwajima Ren: The Stalker.


	2. 0.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the narrating point of view in this one.

###  "Types of stalkers  


Psychologists often group individuals who stalk into two categories:  ** _psychotic_**  and _**nonpsychotic**_. Stalkers may have pre-existing psychotic disorders such as delusional disorder,schizoaffective disorder, or schizophrenia."

 

  Ren wrinkled his nose at that like a feline would at something they dislike. He certainly wasn't a psychotic one. He knew that according to doctors he was just fine... Well, then again, doctors cared what their machines, equipment and the blood said, not the patient life at all. It's not like the machines or studies would say that he was a stalker. Perhaps, anormal brain activity but nothing showed up so far. Pushing those thoughts away, he kept on reading.

 

"Most stalkers are nonpsychotic and may exhibit disorders or  _neuroses_  such as  _major depression_ ,  _adjustment disorder_ , or  _substance dependence_ , as well as a variety of Axis II personality disorders (such as  _antisocial_ ,  _borderline_ ,  _dependent_ ,  _narcissistic_ , or  _paranoid_ ). Some of the symptoms of " **obsessing** " over a person may be characteristic of  _obsessive compulsive personality disorder_. The nonpsychotic stalkers' pursuit of victims can be influenced by various psychological factors, including  _anger_ , _hostility_ ,  _projection of blame_ ,  _obsession dependency_ ,  _minimization_ ,  _denial_ , and  _jealousy_. Conversely, as is more commonly the case, the stalker has no antipathic feelings towards the victim, but simply a longing that cannot be fulfilled due to deficiencies either in their personality or their society's norms."

 

  Mocha eyes re-read that over and over again.

 

  He certainly didn't have a major depression, he was an average teen with uh, an average family -except Shizuo-. He had friends -if he could consider Masamune Shiro,Kuronuma Aoba and Mikajima Saki friends-. He did good in classes, almost failed chemistry but thanks to Kasuka's occasional help by phone helped him not to. And substance? As in...Drugs? No way, he was still young and was under observation constantly in case he developed the same strenght as his oldest brother Shizuo. Blood tests were often made, of course he wouldn't do drugs! He'd run into trouble if his parents were informed. He lived on his own in a small appartment and the doctor he went to -an underground one whose last name was Kinshitani- paid him for blood tests. Therefore, drugs were a huge no.

 

  He was confused at the Axis II so he did research in that too. What he got was...

 

###  "Multi-axial system  


With the advent of the DSM-5 in 2013, the APA eliminated the longstanding multiaxial system for mental disorders.[  
](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders#cite_note-47)

Previously, the DSM-IV organized each psychiatric diagnosis into five dimensions (axes) relating to different aspects of disorder or disability:

  * _Axis I:_  All psychological diagnostic categories except mental retardation and personality disorder
  * _Axis II:_  Personality disorders and mental retardation
  * **_Axis III: General medical condition; acute medical conditions and physical disorders_**
  * _Axis IV:_  Psychosocial and environmental factors contributing to the disorder
  * _Axis V:_  Global Assessment of Functioning or Children's Global Assessment Scale for children and teens under the age of 18



Common Axis I disorders include depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and schizophrenia.

Common Axis II disorders include personality disorders: paranoid personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, avoidant personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder; and intellectual disabilities.

 _ **Common Axis III disorders**   **include brain injuries and other medical/physical disorders which may aggravate existing diseases or present symptoms similar to other disorders.**_ "

 

  Once again, he showed confusion but slowly digested that. He knew he was a stalker since age seven and did nothing to correct about it. He kept on reading the previous information he had opened in another tab of the webpage. He wasn't antisocial, he went to Raira Academy, spoke with students and profesors normally. He got few girls confessions -one or two times a boys one- he rejected them. Ren didn't consider himself that attractive but he did think his brothers were. In reality, Ren was attractive as his brothers too even if he thought he wasn't. 

 

  Narcissist? Definetly no. Paranoid? Much less. At the other one he looked behind his back, eyes gazing his room. He... certainly wasn't organized at all. The diaries of each Orihara were the only organized thing he had in the entire room. The teen rolled his eyes and looked at the screen again "various psychological factors": anger? Hostility? No, he certainly didn't have any anger nor hostility towards Izaya as much as the red-eyed dedicated his life to make Shizuo's life miserable. He deeply admired the raven-haired man as much as he admired the twins. Projection of blame? Not anymore, he thought that the Orihara's family was the reason of why he didn't receive any affection coming from his family. But he accepted life the way it is.It's not that it's unfair, it's not that it sucks, it's not that it's great or full of rainbows; it just is. There's no changing it, there's no doing anything about it. He existed, thus it existed. There's nothing flowery or romantic or terrible about it.

 

  That is the mindset he developed after he comprehended his situation. When nothing is a big deal, when nothing had meaning, his emotions faded away and his obsession towards the Orihara family appeared.

 

  Minimisation? No. Denial? About what exactly. Reardless, still negative reply. Jealously? Now that he thought about it... He came to love every Orihara but did not feel jealous of any relationship they had. In fact, thanks to Aoba, he got to talk with Kururi and Mairu and deeply thanked Aoba and even told him that if he needed any sort of favor he would be more willing to do it. Ren didn't regret his decision, not even when Aoba's smile widened and he knew that it meant trouble. The youngest Heiwajima was more than excited about running into some trouble now and then.

 

  Anyways, the last part was a huge no. Ren just loved the Orihara family. He loved them so much that he needed to know every single detail of their daily basis. He didn't want his unrequired love returned. He just needed to love them, love each one of them equally. Deciding he was done analyzing the previous informations, he carried on reading and learning about his type.

 

"In "A Study of Stalkers" Mullen  _et al._. (2000) identified five types of stalkers:

  * **Rejected stalkers**  pursue their victims in order to reverse, correct, or avenge a rejection (e.g. divorce, separation, termination).
  * **Resentful stalkers**  pursue a vendetta because of a sense of grievance against the victims – motivated mainly by the desire to frighten and distress the victim.
  * **Intimacy seekers**  seek to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim. Such stalkers often believe that the victim is a long-sought-after soul mate, and they were 'meant' to be together.
  * **Incompetent suitors** , despite poor social or courting skills, have a fixation, or in some cases, a sense of entitlement to an intimate relationship with those who have attracted their amorous interest. Their victims are most often already in a dating relationship with someone else.
  * **Predatory stalkers**  spy on the victim in order to prepare and plan an attack – often sexual – on the victim."



 

"But I am none of those!" He blurted outloud and clumsily covered his mouth, his mocha eyes glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning and he could wake up the neighbours. His solution consisted in bitting the inside of his cheek noticeable pissed. He wasn't any of those! He just loved them, he loved them so much! He admire them! He!....He had those feelings. Ren really just became obsessed with that famlily but had no romantic feelings towards any of them. It was as if he loved their humans beings, not themselves. Their existence, Ren loved their existence.

 

  The teen yawned and decided to finish his mathematic homework before heading to bed. Boy, that night he did learn a lot and smiled happily as he begun to do his homework. He sighed frustrated as he started doing so.

**Author's Note:**

> I never wrote this type of character in my life, so I would like some advice if something looks wrong or off.  
> Thank you so much in advance for reading.


End file.
